During our last holidays, I spoke to my comfortable and unmotivated children about how much joy they can bring to their elderly grandfather if they get ready to play a board game with him on the day of his visit. We have just finished our ‘siesta’ and were all in great state for a new activity.
As they haven’t moved, and my parental consciousness kicked me to play the role of a 'connector' between the two generations, I explained to them without any hesitation about how the time may be counted, and who knows how many times they will still be able to play with their grandfather, and I can assure them that once the grandfather or another loved one passes away there will be no more time to make it up.
When we are still alive, we can use our time to our benefit, or to everyone's benefit. Once there is time to say goodbye, or without even having the opportunity to say goodbye, we may regret not having used that opportunity to talk to a significant other, or to do the things we planned to do with them. Or, we may rest with the satisfaction of having used our time in the most satisfactory way for us and for those who have left. We have a choice to make.
The loss of a significant person changes us. Each loss a bit more. The situation pushes one to decide whether to become a ‘victim of the circumstances’, or to take it in and become aware of the good and bad ways of using time with our closest family and friends.
I wonder how many of us are thinking ahead and try to seize every moment with our loved ones in the most enriching way. If we were wrong, we can still repair the wrongs or apologize for it. We can ask forgiveness. We can connect, explain ourselves, or create the opportunity for the other one do so.
Even though we are witnessing death and birth very often in our lives, be it in the neighbors’, friends’, acquaintances’ or our loved ones, our mind does not give death the right status. We are conditioned to ignore if it doesn’t hit too close, to see it as a bad, undesired event, rather than it being a part of life. It is just the last stage of our life here within the conditions that we know of.
What is following, we do not know. Those who have be been lucky in life and had opened their hearts to the divine, the existence of God, and believe in the afterlife, are unconsciously being supported in the low times. I really do believe that they are the fortunate ones.
Those who do not carry any expectations for afterlife, and are loving all the pleasures of life, are lucky for some time, and it all depends of their upbringing, and current life circumstances. Some people start exploring their beliefs when they see the years passing by in such a fast speed. They panic when they sense that they may not live much longer.
Some, scientific souls are determined and certain that they know exactly where they are going and they accept their destiny of turning into dust and exchange of energies. And nothing more to it. I do not know how they take it all when they are about to leave us.
All in all, no matter where you are coming from, no matter what you believe in, the idea of leaving is generally sad.
Not necessarily because of one own, but mostly because of the loved ones’ unfinished story, beginning of other people’s life and hopes and wishes for a stable support that might get from you, or others in the vicinity.
In proactive creation of positive experience, happy moments, teaching and learning opportunities with people that matter to you, you generate your own golden book of memories that will push you up when you are feeling down.