In general we think of holidays as of the time filled with happy moments of joy, sharing and celebration, but for many of us they do not turn out to be totally this way.
Different holidays throughout the year may awake a variety of feelings within us. The stress and anxiety of the holiday season may cause even those of us who are normally content, loneliness, sadness and lack of personal satisfaction, or life fulfillment.
Being physically separated from our loved ones, we may be finding it hard to support the distance during holiday time due to recent move to another country, or because of decease of a loved one, relationship break up, or being held under special conditions away from them (hospital, prison, work, etc.)
Existential Loneliness, which manifests itself as a feeling of hollowness within ourselves, when we realize that no one can help us face the moments of feeling vulnerable and drained about a specific event, situation or person at that point of our life, can be an extremely difficult experience. Feeling of Total Loneliness comes from believing that no one understands or that no one wants to understand us.
Some people are feeling better when avoiding the societal activities, or when they are just being too busy to participate in the festive seasons. They may be quite all right this way and carry no feelings of loneliness or abandonment within.
If you are not one of them and you want to do something to feel better, make your Christmas holiday a bit merrier, I list these few tips for you:
1.You may want to ask yourself WHY do you feel lonely today, this holiday season.
2. It may help you to WRITE your thoughts in a notebook. Writing is an excellent way to reach the insight to your feelings, and it can help you plan the steps that will take you out of this dreadful feeling of loneliness.
3. DECIDE TO PUSH YOURSELF TO GO OUT. If you cling to self-pity you are loosing the strength for change. Open the local diary paper, or check on the internet and chose from the offer of events, activities, plays, concerts, readings, gatherings, fundraisers, charity galas, community meet-ups, support groups, and neighborhood volunteer events. Decide to attend one thing. Convince yourself to not to worry about going there alone – it is even better if you participate in these happenings alone as you are more approachable and open to talk to new people.
4.OFFER yourself to assist a charity event in your community. Going out there raises a chance for you to meet different people who are even more positive and cheerful at this time of the year and therefore easier to talk to. Collect positive experience out there while you focus yourself on others.
5. Decide to GIVE gifts. The act of giving is a symbol of remembering the people in your lives, as well as a way to show gratitude for their presence in your life. Your feeling of loneliness may diminish by making another person a little happier with one of attentions from you. One way to do that is by giving gifts to other than your friends and family. Give gifts to people like your office maintenance personnel, guards, co-workers, bus or taxi drivers — all the people that may not affect your life significantly and yet somehow they all form part of your life. It can be a Christmas greeting card. You may be surprised by the positive effect that receiving even such a little attention can make on people.
6. Reach out to your friends and family. CONNECT with them. You might have spent all the year swamped with work, minding your own busy life and neglected to find the time for them. Do not be afraid to initiate the contact. Convince yourself that it is worth your effort.
7. How about investing some time in the activities that you like, or you used to enjoy, such as gardening, music, writing, painting, creating, or sports? These all are known as great ways to make you feel existentially whole.
8. Book your last-minute TRAVEL. Traveling alone is not for everyone, but many of us get surprised how fulfilling it can be once tried out. Traveling also increases chances for communication with people outside of ones’ usual environment.
If you have experienced loss of someone who was close to you (either due to decease or your relationship has ended), you have to know that it is normal to feel sadness and grief, and it is completely all right for you to take time to cry and express your feelings. Do not force yourself to be happy just because there is this holiday season, there will be more of those seasons when you will be ready to move along. Make yourself comfortable where you like to be most, and you might even want to invite someone over to your place. If you are not ready, do the opposite and accept that invitation that you wanted to ignore, or walk around the town for a while before you close your doors again.
Happy Holiday Season to All!