Emotional intelligence is a term that is quite widely used. Have you ever been told that you are too negative? Have you noticed that people are running away from you on the corridors at work? If you are a person who is often grumpy, cynical or pessimistic in your communication with others, then yes, people will start avoiding you when they can.
For most of us it is extremely unpleasant to be around someone who uses words that provoke negative emotions in every occasion they find. Such behavior is destructive to those around you, and especially harmful for you.
What also makes a difference is the processing of information - from the first thought that occurs to you about something, to pinning down what that really means to you. The point when you make a decision to put yourself or someone else down, or to make space for a 'but' sentence is crucial for you to learn about - when you'd like to feel more satisfied with your life.
It isn't an easy task to dig on your own. You may want to work with a professional counselor in your area who will help you go through this task. As you reflect upon these beliefs, which might have been hidden in there for quite some time, think about the actual reasons that you have those beliefs in the first place. (What is the reason for you to believe that all bosses are superficial, for example.)
So how to get rid of them? One of the possibilities is to use a sheet paper and a pen, to write down all contradictions to each of the reasons you have established for your negative beliefs about that person or event.
To motivate you some more, if you switch to a more positive thinking, you will bring more happy moments into your life, your relationships with others will become stronger, and your health will improve in many ways as you start to relax more, and to release the heavy you.
In Positive Psychology it is suggested to look for creating at least three positive thoughts-yes, force yourself at the beginning- for every negative one that you get. Make it more of an experiment. Challenge yourself. If your morning is stressful, you can nevertheless have a moment for a small chat with someone in your office, or anywhere else, you could invite someone for a cup of coffee later on during the day, or share an idea, cookies, walk through the street finding something where your eye could rest on for a while, could be a tree or a car or an unknown person who passes by. Try micro-meditation, or sports for these will elevate your mood and make you feel more positive. If you are used to worry a lot, make all the efforts to stay in the present moment. Train yourself bit by bit every day.
There is plenty to be done when you decide to be more positive, and the most important of all is to give yourself a chance to enjoy who you are. It is to accept who you are and allow yourself to be imperfect, with as many flaws as you find. This is the real key to opening your door to tolerance towards others and better relationships. Explore what you really feel and give your feelings names. Let them live within you and learn to share them in a positive way. Cultivate joy, awe, and gratitude and passion. They will make you a happier person who will start contributing towards other people's happiness as well.