...and then all fell apart. You have suffered a significant loss in your life and you finally seem to be moving out of the shock. People closest to you, who are there to support you and help you are asking you to move on, to take the next step, to see things from another perspective and to just start living again..... and you get sooooo angry at them. Your question is: 'Where is the real support and understanding?
Your anger may have different facets. You can get angry at the loved one who has died prior to your expectations, or at the doctors who couldn't have done more to save your loved one... You may get angry at yourself, blaming yourself for not being there, or not behaving in a better way prior to their death. You may simply be angry at those around you who want to help you out. Your anger is an indicator of how much you have loved the one who died. For which ever kind of anger you feel, you do not owe an apology to anybody. It is your grief and it is your way of expressing the pain within. You have got many reasons to be as you are at this moment. Your life has changed drastically and you will need time to adapt to the new circumstances. So what is there to be done?
Think that the sooner and the more you acknowledge your anger, the easier it will be to transform it into something positive. The more you try to numb it, cover it, the more destructive its outburst may be when you are not vigilant enough. It takes enormous energy to cover it up and it doesn't let you progress. Open up to your anger. Explore it and discover what is really underneath. Take the time to contemplate on it. Writing it all down may help you going through. All it takes is a notebook, pen and a few minutes of your time every day. Don't think when you write. Let your hand do the writing. Don't direct. Let it be raw.
If your anger hasn't making you any problems such as shameful outbursts, etc, or you simply do not feel any anger when you are in grief, don't think that your grieving is not 'normal'. Each one of us will grieve in a different way. Some experience one stage of grief many times, some never. The most important is that you let yourself be as you are, and feel the emotions that come up. Every significant loss changes us, and we are to learn how our new, adapted Self can best function under the new circumstances.